Lately I’ve been severely lacking any fucks to give concerning my current work situation, and I have fully accepted it as a good thing. So good, in fact, that I wish I had learned to stop excessively caring and worrying a lot sooner. It would have saved me from a ton of headaches, emotional meltdowns, and a significant number of gray hairs that have been popping up all over my head.
Despite my recent lack of emotional entanglement, I have been performing my job surprisingly well! I think I am finally discovering the balance between not overexerting myself, and learning to just go with the flow. As result, the days have been flying by, and I’m left feeling a little more accomplished. Less worrying means more time I can put into studying, and more time I can put into studying means the faster I can reach my goals.
What are my goals exactly? To pass the JLPT N1 and get the hell out of here.
There are very few decisions that I regret making since coming to Japan, but leaving the countryside is one of them. Aside from missing the quiet, beautiful landscape, I also miss my previous job. The pay wasn’t nearly as nice, but the work was relatively easy, and I felt that I learned much more about traditional Japanese culture than I do now. I wish I had stayed there for at least another year or two before transitioning to my current residence in the city.
Working at an eikaiwa (English conversation school) has been one of the most challenging tasks I’ve dared to take on. The days are busy, the hours are long, and it feels like I only have a few hours after coming home before it’s time to go to bed and prepare for it all over again. It has been difficult to focus on my real passion–learning Japanese–in the midst of handling my hectic work life.
However, I am pleased to say that I am making progress. It’s not easy finding the willpower to study for 2-3 hours each night while working 40 hours a week, but dammit I’m doing it!
Here’s to reaching my goals!